Our Brave New Life
by StormAlchemist677
Summary: AU what do you do when the world ends? Roy Riza Ed and Al are about to find out. post-apocalyptic, our world near future I'll try to fit as many canon characters in as possible, pairings may be implied but only if you squint
1. After The Bombs

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA

**Genre:** Drama, Adventure, Post-Apocalyptic

**Author's Note:** This is an idea that just kinda popped into my head any way please review, and tell me if I should continue

* * *

Roy Mustang watched his feet and listened to the distinctive crunching squeak the made as he walked through fresh fallen ash-grey snow beneath an ever-leaden sky crackling with bolts of technicolor electricity. He laughed quietly, September and already fifteen degrees, and he had thought that Chicago was a bit chilly before! Ah well… New world new rules, it wasn't survival of the fittest in the strictest sense. No the dumb ones died first, then the weak ones smarts were just as important now as strength in this world.

And what was this brave new world you ask, oh imaginary companion?

Well he supposed it probably started when Iran built those uranium-enrichment places, they made missiles and someone's button finger got itchy, and well as they say the rest is history. 'Three flecks in the sky warn you you're gonna die.' War Pigs by Black Sabbath… no wait Electric Funeral, same band though. Whatever noone to take offense anyway, a show of hands form all who do? Well fuck there wasn't anyone here! And Ozzy was probably so much radioactive debris, not like he would care.

Roy let out a sigh, for all the destruction they wreaked the bombs had been amazing. Seeing the horizon light up like a hundred suns… no a thousand… ten thousand. Hell if Kimbley hadn't been incinerated, that bastard was probably jacking off in his shorts. Wow it'd been a long time since he thought of his old "buddy" how long had it been since their Special Ops days? Two years that's right, ten years in shitholes like Iraq and Afghanistan, and places they officially weren't like China, Siberia, all over South America. Ten years protecting a country destined to become a big green glowing cinder. Yeah he'd spent awhile globe-trotting with that psychotic fuck… what was it they had called him? Right the Unabomber, good ol' Hawkeye had coined that in a rare moment of dark humor, he was glad she was next to him, one less person he knew to wonder about.

But frankly he did hope Kimbley had survived the blasts… yep he hoped the son of a bitch had died of radiation poisoning. Still if he had blown up that was good too, kinda ironic to say the least. Rest In Pieces Kimbley . Roy fought to suppress the giggles that morbid joke gave him.

"Sir?"

"Our Special Ops days are over Hawkeye," Roy grinned with amusement "you can use my name now."

Hawkeye ignored her friend's request, "where do we plan to stop?" Riza asked looking at the blackened shards of concrete poking through the snow, "this might have been a city once, but if we try to sleep here now we're liable to lay on something sharp" Hawkeye commented. "And rusty" she added as an afterthought.

"A few more miles and we'll be out of the debris field." Roy replied. "We can camp there," he finished grimacing at the comment about rust, without real medical treatment… Well he didn't know if tetanus would be lethal but it'd at least be serious. Yeah a lot had changed since the war. Unconsciously he began to whistle: Thank God For The Bomb by the aforementioned and no doubt incinerated Ozzy Osbourne. Walking next to him and listening to the song that turned out to be so prophetic, Riza Hawkeye couldn't help but feel a rush of something akin to despair, as she surveyed the frozen and radioactive wasteland she had once called home.

* * *


	2. Gunfight

**Disclaimer:**I don't own FMA

**Genre:** Drama, Adventure, Post-Apocalyptic

**Author's Note:**Ed Al and Winry will make their cameo in the next chapter, Havoc and the rest of the gang not long after that, however I was thinking of adding an Oc from one of my other stories to the mix should I do that or keep all the main characters canon? your choice but reviews are necessary

* * *

Roy got up and stretched a few kinks out of his back, he was pretty sure they pitched the tent on top of something with uncomfortable angles. He was also sure he had gotten the worst of it, it wouldn't be the first time in either their Special Ops days or the eighteen months since the bombs dropped that Riza had done something like that on purpose. Sometimes he thought his former second-in-command might need some help with her sense of humor, the rest of the time he was absolutely certain.

"Good morning sir!" came an all together too chipper for the morning voice from the tent.

Roy opened his mouth automatically to object, and then smirked as he thought better of it, "Good morning Sergeant, I'll have my coffee now" he said turning to gauge her reaction.

"Get your own damn coffee sir."

He was pretty sure that had been the response back when he had actually been her superior officer, yep just like old times... well except for the lack of snickers at his expence but he didn't miss that very much. They ate a quick breakfast before packing up and leaving, there was still a long way to go and they couldn't afford to waste time.

* * *

It was about five hours of walking later or noon when the shit hit the fan. They were walking through a forest when a small black object came arcing in their direction. Despite Roy's protests that they were no longer military, his training took over immediately.

"GRENADE!!" he yelled breaking right and unslinging his AK-47 before blazing away on full automatic. Somewhere to his left he heard a sound like an iron bar slapping into raw meat glancing over he saw a man with most of his head shot away falling in front of Riza's MP5, he managed to take all this in before the grenade that started it all hit its three second mark and exploded, spraying white hot shrapnel in every direction. Roy shook his head to clear the sudden ringing in his ears glancing up above the fallen tree he sheltered behind he took stock of the situation. Riza was behind a large rock looking at him for instructions, not far in front he counted five hostiles, he heard one of the bastards moaning so he thought he had hit one of them. He looked over at Riza as he switched out his magazine for a full one, _flank left _he signalled _I'll distract them_. Roy took a deep breath before going against all the training he'd ever received.

One of the first things you are taught when being trained with a squad is to never move forward without support, because see the thing about moving forward without support or covering fire is you make a very nice bigass target, exactly the kind that no terrorist, criminal, or just plain idiotwith a gun can resist shooting at. Another thing you are taught is not to waste ammunition automatic fire is good for exactly two things, first scaring people and scared isn't good enough, second it's spectacular on the silver screen. Finally you should be professional of course in combat this is usually the first to go. However all the training Roy had received, all the swearing by drill sergeants didn't stop him from running full tilt at his opponents firing his gun in every direction and screaming at the top of his lungs.

"YA WANT SOME OF THIS MOTHERFUCKERS HUH? C'MON I DON'T WANNA HURT YA I JUST WANNA GIVE YA A LEAD ENEMA!!!"

He then did something truly stupid, something that under normal circumstances would have earned him a medical discharge for insanity. Having no idea what was behind the boulder in front of him he ran up it and jumped off the top, twisting in midair he put half his magazine into the back of the guy hiding behind it.

Somewhere to his left Riza muttered "Sir you stupid screwball!" in tones of astonishment.

Landing Roy proceeded to smash the unfortunate man's partner in the face with the stock of his rifle before emptying the rest of his magazine into him to make sure. In front of him and to his left hidden by trees he heard several brief screams rapidly cut off by gunfire. Roy quickly reloaded and ran towards the source of the sounds.He quickly surveyed what was left of the men who tried to ambush them_ 'damn'_he thought as usual every one of Riza's shots had found a head.

"Sick shooting Riza," he said turning to where he knew his friend would be, and found her on the ground. Roy ran to her side swearing the whole way, suddenly far more scared than he had ever been under fire. He bent down over her pulling open her coat, immediately he felt like crying the bullet had torn through a major blood vessel and he didn't have the tools on hand to stop the flow. Desperately instinctively he looked around, as though help would fall from the heavens as opposed to the destruction they had seen a year and a half ago. Suddenly he saw smoke, not the black greasy kind that was associated with accidents and oil fires, but a light grey almost white color- woodsmoke. He quickly ripped strips from his dead enemy's clothes and tied them tight enough to cut off circulation. Roy then pulled his injured and unconscious friend to her feet and began to drag her in the direction of the smoke. Almost half an hour later he broke through the trees to find a small house in the middle of nowhere what were the chances. Roy grinned with relief before dragging Riza to the door and banging on it and... nobody answered. Unwilling to give up Roy began to bang again and kept banging on the door as though intending to break it down. Suddenly the door was yanked open and he found himself staring into a pair of gold eyes behind the sights of a TEC-9 machine pistol.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST can nothing go right?!?!"


	3. Two Grouchy Blondes

**Disclaimer:**I don't own FMA

**Genre:** Drama, Adventure, Post-Apocalyptic

**Author's Note:**The reviewers hath spoken my OC shall make his appearance in one or two chapters until then enjoy

* * *

The blond teen standing in front of Roy looked quite unaffected by his outburst, "I'll be as polite about this as I can be under the circumstances," the teen said "...Fuck off."

Roy stared at the boy in front of him for a moment, where did a thirteen year old learn language like that? Actually no wait he wasn't thinking straight where did a thirteen year old get a machine pistol? He ignored those pesky questions and settled for "Look I need help, my friend-"

"I don't care!" The kid snarled "Just get out!"

"She's dying," Roy screamed.

The teen's previously angry face went blank he blinked for a moment, this time startled by Roy's outburst. "Fine," he said grudgingly "don't come in yet!" he snapped as Roy moved towards the door "Put all your weapons on the floor and push them towards me."

Roy hesitated a moment loath to part with his guns, then he dumped his AK-47 Riza's MP5 a pair of handguns and a pair of knives on the floor of the house and kicked them in the kid's direction, he glared at the kid expecting a smug grin that he had gotten adult to do what he wanted, instead all he saw was a look of vague consideration.

"Alright" the kid said "go in the next room put your friend on the couch and don't do anything stupid."

Roy grinned slightly thinking of the number of terrorists he had said something similar to, "don't worry," he replied "doing stupid things is something I try not to make a habit of."

They walked through the entryway into what must be the living room Roy lay Riza gently on the couch in front of a crackling fire, the teen he had been talking with in the meantime walked over to a staircase on the other side of the room, "Winry" he called up "they're safe you can come down, bring your kit one needs medical attention!"

Roy stared bemused as a blond girl stomped down the stairs "I can take care of myself Ed!" she shouted angrily "I do not need some idiotic gunman with an overblown ego to protect me!"

The kid who Roy decided must be called Ed simply stood out of her way muttering "Yeah yeah" though he looked as though he was getting ready to duck.

Winry walked over to where Riza was lying and began to work she glanced back over towards Roy and Ed "Will you two go do something useful" she snapped "like shoving your heads up your asses!!"

Ed looked over at Roy "Let's go whats-your-face before she throws something sharp at us."

Roy followed Ed into the kitchen something had been nagging at him ever since he first saw this kid "You look familiar" he said "your last name wouldn't happen to be Elric would it?"

Ed immediately turned around glaring suspiciously "How did you know? because I know for sure I've never seen you in my life."

Roy shrugged "You look like Hohenheim Elric, he was my first CO in Special Ops."

"Figures it would be that bastard," Ed muttered "the old days were all my father would ever talk about after he got back... at least while he was actually here" he finished bitterly.

Roy looked up in surprise "What you mean he just _left, _I knew the guy was a pompous asshole but I didn't think he would leave his family."

Ed grinned slightly "So you saw he was an asshole huh? Well that's just about all there was to him after he left Special Ops eight years ago he was home for about six months before he just walked out, haven't seen or heard from him since."

Roy decided to introduce himself at least to change the subject "Name's Roy Mustang," he said putting out his hand.

Ed hesitated briefly before accepting "Edward Elric, the blond grouch working on your friend is Winry Rockbell and my brother Alphonse is upstairs."

Roy cocked his head "where's your mom?" he asked quietly.

Ed clenched one hand until the knuckles turned white a contrast to his dead calm voice "My mom and Winry's parents worked in Cook County Hospital and... well you know where that went... listen I don't like to ask for favors but I have no choice I'm guessing you and your friend are immune."

Roy nodded "Riza and I are yes."

Ed looked down for a moment before continuing "As are Winry and me but... Alphonse isn't, this house has thick concrete walls so I thought he'd be alright but the concrete just slowed the process, the radiation poisoning is in it's earliest stages so even if he went outside he'd still have about three months."

"What are you asking?" Roy said.

"Are the rumors true? do they have a cure?

Roy nodded "the serum yes, but only in population centers" he paused "there are a few of those left Riza and I are headed to Helena, Montana they ought to have it there, but we can't run errands."

"I'm not asking you to." Ed replied irritably "I'm asking you to take us with you I won't pretend that Al will really be able to help much the poisoning will make him weaker as time goes on but I'm a pretty good shot and I've been camping enough to know what I'm doing out there, plus Winry is a pretty good doctor despite no license."

Roy thought a moment and sighed "Alright but I'm going to warn you, there might be some pretty ugly things out there, things kids shouldn't see."

"I'm not going to let Al see anything he shouldn't" Ed said decisively

"I was talking about you, you're only thirteen you know hardly an adult."

"WHAT!!!!" Ed yelled indignantly "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT YOU MOTHERFUCKER I'M SEVENTEEN!!!"

* * *


	4. Awakening

**Disclaimer:**I don't own FMA

**Genre:** Drama, Adventure, Post-Apocalyptic

**Author's Note:**Well movin right along I want to try to finish this by the end of the year cuz I'll be startin college in January and obviously my free time will take a sharp drop. anyway thanks to **Meso the Hanyu, Tedlibear, **and **Agatsuma Ritsuka** for the reviews they are much appreciated. On to the story!

* * *

Riza woke up with her shoulder feeling as though someone had been pounding on it with a sledgehammer. Actually it was that area right between her shoulder and her neck but she was never quite sure what to call it. She decided to try and sit up only to realize that as a result of whatever injury this ache was from her right arm felt like jello: cold weak and a little quivery. Just as she was about to try her left arm she found herself confronted by a teenage girl of maybe sixteen, it was about then that she stopped to wonder what she was doing on a couch in a house.

"Oh good you woke up," Winry said cheerfully in direct contrast to her earlier foul mood "don't sit up, you'll tear your stitches, I put some of my best needlework into you and I'm not gping to have it ruined because you're stubborn" she finished, looking about as stern as a teenage girl can manage.

"Needlework?" Riza asked uneasily, "stitches? what the hell happened?"

"You were shot," Winry replied matter-of-factly "judging by the size of the bullet I removed I'd say a large-bore hunting rifle, the bullet lacerated your jugular, which is why you should put as little strain as possible on your right arm and shoulder, but I'd say you should e able to do normal work with it in a week or so." Winry paused thoughtfully "You're pretty lucky you know" she continued "if your friend hadn't known how to make a tourniquet, and if he hadn't found our place you wouldn't have made it."

"Roy's here?"

"Kinda asian lookin'? About five-ten? Looks so smug you want to kill him on principle?" Winry asked.

Riza grinned at the apt description, "That's him."

Winry jerked her thumb over her shoulder, "He's in the kitchen with Ed, Ed's pretty easy to recognize he's the short angry guy, I'm Winry Rockbell by the way unlicensed doctor, surgeon, and pharmacist extraordinaire."

"Riza Hawkeye," came the reply "Expert marksman since we're talking about professions, nice to meet you."

Winry cocked her head "What did you do to become a marksman?"

"I was in Special Operations" Riza said slightly reminiscent.

"And what does one do in Special Operations?" Winry asked curiously.

"Well the gist of it," Riza answered "is we went to very hot or very cold places and broke international laws, then we came back to the States and pretended we didn't exist."

"I see," Winry said slowly, obviously she didn't.

Before Riza could clarify Roy and Ed walked in "We're leaving."

* * *


	5. A Trip, A Thief, And A New Friend

**Disclaimer:**I don't own FMA

**Genre:** Drama, Adventure, Post-Apocalyptic

**Author's Note:**Well movin right along I want to try to finish this by the end of the year cuz I'll be startin college in January and obviously my free time will take a sharp drop. anyway thanks to **Meso the Hanyu, Tedlibear, **and **Agatsuma Ritsuka** for the reviews they are much appreciated. On to the story!

* * *

About an hour later they were all tramping through the snow, bundled up and armed to the teeth... well armed at least. Even Winry and Al (who Roy had decided was probably the nicest kid or person for that matter he'd met in his life) had semi-automatic handguns stuffed in their belts.

"I still don't see why we couldn't wait until tomorrow at least," Winry grumbled.

"We can't afford to lose time," Ed snapped irritably.

Roy sighed, this was going to be a great trip alright, "Both of you stop fighting," he said wearily "there's a very good reason for leaving immediately."

There was silence for a few minutes "Well?" Winry said impatiently "what's the reason?"

"I'll tell you later," was the only reply she got.

Riza walked up next to him "You don't have a good reason do you?"

"Of course I do" he replied childishly "just give me a minute to think of one."

So they continued tramping through the ash like snow as lightning flickered fitfully overhead. Winry glanced up "I wonder what causes all that lighning" she said "It's always there, we didn't use to have constant electrical storms."

"Actually," Ed replied "the explanation is pretty simple, when a volcano erupts, tiny bits of ash that it throws out rub together and as static electricity builds up it causes lightning, this is the same thing just on a larger scale, and it probably won't stop for a long time a little bit of the ash comes down with the snow, but considering that there hasn't been any increase in sunlight in the eighteen months since the bomb this change might be permanent... or close enough as to make no difference."

Roy listened with detached curiosity, he had also wondered where all the lightning came from, though the idea that this world of half-light occasionally thrown into sharp relief by an extra bright bolt of lightning was a very depressing one.

* * *

They camped that night on top of a hill, Roy had first watch. As he sat peering into the darkness he thought he heard someone moving through the snow with a poor attempt at stealth. he stood slowly chambering a round in his assault rifle. He walked around the camp slowly, careful to make as little noise as possible. He heard a snuffling sound, like someone with a bad head cold and suddenly came behind a man rooting through Winry's pack. He nudged the man's back with the barrel of his gun. The man froze and turned around slowly, dropping the few items he held. Roy pointed outside of camp not bothering to speak. The man turned and ran, Roy wondered whether he should have shot the man then decided the thief wasn't worth the bullet.

A few hours later the same thief snuck into another camp, by this time he was ravenous with hunger and didn't notice a few occupants still awake. He also didn't notice the stacked Sig Sauer automatic rifles sitting next to them. But he was used to disappointment and so was not particularly surprised when he felt the nudge of a rifle barrel for the second time that night. However when he made eye contact with the person behind him his stomach plummeted, no one could help but feel fear with those coldly gleeful eyes on them. He heard a loud metallic click then a quiet sound like air pushed through a small hole that he recognized as silenced gunfire. He was aware of a wetness on his torso and a slight ache in his chest but nothing real serious, then he was aware of nothing at all. Envy looked down at the body in front of him it was kind of a shame that his knife had broken, then he could have had some real fun with this rat, but shooting did have it's own unique pleasure. He went back to the fire and both he and his companions ignored the corpse and the growing patch of red snow around it.

* * *

About three in the afternoon the next day was when the small group's plans changed. As they walked they heard the loud crack of a gunshot and actually felt the wind as it passed by. A moment later they heard a voice yell at them from somewhere close by which was obviously impossible since they could see no one and were in the middle of an open field.

"Alright," the voice shouted "you've come far enough, any closer and I'll start shooting for real."

Roy looked at Riza "Where the hell is that coming from? I don't see anyone anywhere!"

Riza looked worried unusually for her "Your guess is as good as mine sir."

Roy grimaced unsure whether he was more irritated by this damned situation or Riza's sudden reversion to 'sir', "Look," he shouted back "we don't want any trouble we're just walking this way, we have no interest in anything you might have."

"Maybe and maybe not," the voice responded "I'm not stupid so I don't think I'll take your word for it."

To Roy's great chagrin he laid down his rifle for the second time in two days "Look how about this, we put down our guns and you come out, if you need medical treatment we have a doctor."

This time the voice sounded considering "Does your doctor have tetanus shots?"

Before Roy even glanced back at Winry she had shouted an affirmative.

"Okay," the voice said sounding as though he could hardly believe himself, "I'm coming out I'd appreciate it if your guns were pointed at the ground."

With that not a hundred feet in front of them a small drift turned into a small person with snow sliding off him.

Roy gaped in astonishment "How did we not see that" he whispered.

Riza looked hardly more believing of her eyes "He's really good" was all she could say.

The figure moving toward them was dressed in a rather eclectic mix of military surplus gear, he had a jacket which Roy was certain from the olive drab but no camo was Korean War surplus, a pair of cargo pants in urban camouflage, a set of large black tanker boots, black leather shooting gloves, and a pair of sunglasses on top of his head that Roy recognized as being standard Operation Iraqi Freedom issue designed to stop shrapnel and reduce the effects of flash grenades. In his arms the teen, who couldn't be more than an inch or two taller than Ed, cradled a scoped M16 and in the waistband of his pants was an Israeli Desert Eagle handgun. He was as Roy had noted about five foot three, he was quite thin but the way he looked suggested tough muscles under his bulky uniform, he had long brown hair in a style similar to Ed's except his was in a messy ponytail instead of a braid. They noted however a pronounced limp in his left leg and a bloody rag tied around it at about calf level.

Once he got over he put his hand out cautiously "Sean Ryder"

Roy shook his hand "Roy Mustang, you need tetanus shots?"

Sean nodded ruefully "Yeah I'd pretty much given up hope on getting those, lucky you guys showed up."

"Well since we're here we might as well camp together," Roy said "maybe you'll have some news for us."

Sean nodded "don't expect anything good though."

* * *

As Roy administered the shots Winry checked the cut on Sean's leg "It looks pretty clean" she said.

"I used vodka," Sean replied "about the only thing its good for, I got this from my truck, the front axle broke and punched right through the floor about eight miles back."

"Ouch" Roy commented, "where were you coming from?"

"Helena ya know in Montana."

"Oh" Roy said slightly disappointed "guess I can't ask you to come with us."

Sean looked alarmed "You're going to Helena?! Don't, stay away from there when I left half the city was on fire from riots, either now the rest is gone or they're shooting unfamiliar people in the streets."

Roy raised his eyebrows "that bad?"

Sean shook his head "you didn't know the new mayor, lord would be a better name for him cuz he sure as hell acted like one."

"Ok is Denver gone or not?"

"Well I wouldn't say it's gone" Sean replied sarcastically "most of it is in the stratosphere and the rest is glowing for all to see for miles away. What exactly are you looking for?"

"The serum."

Sean looked thoughtful wincing slightly as the needle pricked again, "Well you wouldn't have found any in Helena, maybe if you gave the lord mayor all your guns and the clothes off your back he would have given you enough to cure half a person. Who do you need it for?"

Roy glanced over at Al it was brief but enough.

Sean looked as well "He must be in the very early stages since he has all his hair... I think I know a place there's a town near Tucson, Arizona called River Rapids, not that there was ever a river there, but anyway it was a science town you know lots of high-tech industry there was a factory and a lab there that produced the serum, the place is a ghost town or it was last I heard but the lab and factory ought to still have the ingredients then its just a matter of starting up the machines, which shouldn't be too difficult, the people who worked at the plant were everyday people so we should be able to figure it out."

Roy shook his head "That's an extra two hundred miles minimum he's got about ninety days and why are you helping us?"

"First of all" Sean answered "there's a car dealership about ten miles to our south once we get wheels its easy enough, and I'm helping because radiation is a horrible way to die and no kid deserves it."

Sean didn't bother mentioning that he was also a bit lonely he figured it wasn't all that important.

* * *

_It was three months after the bombs Sean figured that since nothing weird was happening to him he was probably immune to radiation somehow... odd. Whatever it was better than the alternative, it hadn't started to snow yet but considering the way the temperatures had been dropping it was probably just a matter of time. He walked through a thoroughly smashed and burned out area of his old neighborhood in Fresno, no bomb had done this probably riots, people sure loved to break things. Just ahead he caught sight of an unbroken shop window now that was weird he would ave thought that would be the first to go, he also thought he caught a reflection in it. Sean turned and saw a familiar face it was James Mason, a forty year old accountant, boring but the kind of guy who felt guilty after swatting a fly, he seemed to be lying on something. "Hey Mr. Mason damn am I glad to see-" Sean stopped in midshout as Mason looked up revealing what he was on top of. The son of a bitch was raping Joanna Waters a girl who had been in his class at school. Sean brought up his newly salvaged M16 and emptied it turning Mason's chest into a mass of scummy red pulp. He dropped his rifle and ran forward "Joanna!" he yelled after what had to be seconds but felt like hours he got to her. "Joanna are you-" she turned to regard him with dead eyes and his words stuck in his throat, he failed to see her hand moving up until it was already too late. In an instant she had snatched the Colt Python revolver he had salvaged from his belt and fired. He turned slowly and saw a haggard looking kid standing next to a headless corpse the kid was drenched in blood and sticking to his stomach, his chest, his face were bits of hair, gobbets of smoking flesh, and hoge clots of a yellowish gray substance that might have been cheese if he hadn't know better. It took almost five minutes before he realized he was staring at his own reflection in a plate glass window._

Sean jerked from sleep instantly he stumbled out of his tent and just managed to get out of earshot of camp before throwing up.

* * *


	6. Heart To Heart

**Disclaimer:**I don't own FMA

**Genre:** Drama, Adventure, Post-Apocalyptic

**Author's Note:**thanks to **Meso the Hanyu **and** Tedlibear **for the reviews they are much appreciated. On to the story!

* * *

Riza Hawkeye woke from sleep at her customary early hour and exited her tent. Quite used to being the first one awake, she was slightly surprised to see a fire already built and a figure thoroughly obscured by smoke. The smoke cleared briefly and revealed their newest companion with a half-smoked cigarette dangling from his mouth. Hawkeye thought he was unaware of her presence when he spoke without even looking up.

"I'm trying to come with a limerick but I keep getting stuck so far I've got 'There once was a man named Rick, who thought quite a lot of his dick, he thought he could suck it...' and then I lost my train of thought.

Riza grinned used to this sort of humor and finished for him, "how about '... then he said fuck it, it's probably far too thick'

Sean nodded puffing on his cigarette thoughtfully, "That's a pretty good finish."

"Do you usually spend your spare time making up dirty limericks?"

Sean shrugged, "There wasn't anything else to do, I figured I might as well exercise my literacy."

Riza laughed, "I'm not sure that qualifies as literacy."

Sean laughed with her, "Ah you're probably right but it is amusing at least, were you military by chance? I've never met any women outside of the military who appreciate that sort of humor."

Riza nodded and sat, "Roy and I were in Special Forces, and I think you had a close friend or relative who was in the military."

Sean gave her a sideways glance, "What makes you think so?"

Riza smiled at the uncomfortable sound in his voice, "First of all you handle your rifle like someone who's had training and you aren't old enough to have done service yourself, I'm not sure how old you are but like I said not old enough. Second those sunglasses you're wearing aren't surplus there's a chip in the left lens where it was hit by shrapnel and you have no facial scars so I'm guessing it was there when you got them."

Sean nodded, "Well I'm seventeen so no I haven't had official training, my brother was ten years older than me but we were still close, he taught me how to shoot, unarmed combat, that kinda thing. He was a Marine for eight years, one time when he was home from a tour in Iraq he gave me his sunglasses as a souvenir, they had this chip in the lens from shrapnel that hit him in the face... Three months before the bombs his Humvee blew up in Afghanistan."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah you and everyone else on this radioactive slag heap!" Sean snapped bitterly. He sat for a moment shaking, though from anger or some other emotion Riza couldn't tell, then he looked down guiltily, "Sorry" he mumbled "you were just... I shouldn't... sorry" he finished lamely.

Riza felt a burst of pity for the small miserable figure sitting by her side, impulsively she grabbed his hand, "Hey its going to be okay."

"No... it won't" Sean said sadly, "nothing will."

They sat like that for a long time.

* * *


	7. Weird Kid

**Disclaimer:**I don't own FMA

**Genre:** Drama, Adventure, Post-Apocalyptic

* * *

"So," Roy said a few hours later, "how far to that car lot?"

They had tramped about ten miles since that morning and Roy was beginning to wonder. He glanced back to Riza and her newly acquired shadow, Sean had adamantly refused to leave her side since that morning, for some reason that really irked Roy not that he would be saying anything about _that_.

"It should be just over this hill," Sean replied, though for some reason it looked more like he was talking to Riza than Roy. Roy was really beginning to wonder about this kid, Ed was a little odd, granted but for the most part his oddities could be attributed to normal teenage stuff. Sean on the other hand was acting weird even for a teen. He, again refused to leave Riza's side, and almost always addressed her, regardless of who was speaking. Sean also seemed to know more about guns than anyone Roy had met in his life, he could rattle off everything from model names to muzzle velocity to quoting word for word entire articles about them. He seemed to have a violent aversion to physical contact, when Roy had tapped him on the shoulder earlier to get his attention the kid had quite nearly given him a compound fracture, he'd stopped himself only just in time. And then just to top it all off there was that weird conversation earlier...

* * *

_Flashback_

_Ed sighed tiredly, "You know this would be so much easier if we had a plane."_

_Roy nodded, "You're right for once short-stuff it would be easier if we had a plane, we'll also find jet fuel just about when pigs fly."_

_Ed's angry outburst was abruptly cut off by Sean's comment, "We might actually find jet fuel first, considering the way pigs are built they probably wouldn't develop wings for at least a few thousand years."_

_Roy_ _stared_ _trying to make sense of the remark, then decided it was a joke, "That really wasn't all that funny you know."_

_Now it was Sean's turn to look thoroughly confused, "It... wasn't supposed to be funny."_

_Roy stood for a moment wondering what to say, "Um it was... a metaphor, ya know a figure of speech?"_

_Sean started slightly, "Oh right okay, when pigs fly I get it..." _

_Sean scratched the back of his neck, Roy had quickly realized was what he did when feeling nervous or guilty. Roy looked forward narrowing his eyes in thought, Sean was lying he didn't get the metaphor._

Roy had been thinking about that for the past hour and it still made no sense. Why would Sean lie about understanding the metaphor? Roy supposed that he might just be embarassed about it but an even bigger question was, why wouldn't he understand in the first place? When pigs fly was one of the first metaphors he had learned, second only to "Do you think I'm made of money?" his father had been a big fan of both, it was something almost every kid in America had known, definitely every teenager. Roy was thoroughly confused no doubt about that.

However his musings were cut off when they topped the rise by Ed's disgusted "What the fuck!?!"

Roy stared in bewilderment and not a little disgust of his own. The dealership was there sure enough complete with cars, vans, SUVs, and some very ugly animals he'd never seen before. All he knew for sure was the long fangs coming from their mouths suggested a diet that would be rather inconvenient to the group.

"Huh," Sean said sounding more interested than anything, "I think I saw these in the Lord of the Rings movies."

Roy did a double take, yes they definitely looked similar to the Wargs Peter Jackson had created, if that is you took away the hair and made their bodies gray and slimy looking. "Did you know they were here?" Roy said angrily.

Sean took a step backward, Roy immediately noticed with detached interest he moved slightly left, closer to Riza, Sean didn't look scared precisely more... wary as though expected Roy to go for his throat, "No I didn't!" Sean returned almost as angrily as Roy "do you think I know everything? Or do you just hate me? What did I do to you?"

Roy blinked surprised again, not by the outburst but by the last question, most people would have asked the question as a rhetorical believing that obviously they hadn't done anything, Sean's tone suggested that he actually wondered if he'd done something. Roy shook his head "You didn't do anything, what the hell are they?" Sean muttered something incomprehensible. "Can't hear you" Roy said.

"Mutant something or other," Sean said irritably, "we have a few choices now, we can shoot them but I think there's too many in this case, we could try sneaking and risk getting eaten, or we supply them with bait and lose some supplies."

"Oh wonderful," Ed remarked sarcastically, "we risk being eaten, risk being eaten, or risk starving to death."

Sean shrugged, "your choice."


	8. Leaving The Dealership

**Disclaimer:**I don't own FMA

**Genre:** Drama, Adventure, Post-Apocalyptic

* * *

Sean, Ed, and Roy crept through the car lot carefully. Sean was quite obviously not happy to be coming, judging from the constant stream of muttered obscenities coming from his mouth. Normally Roy would have left him behind with the others, but he had found out Sean knew how to hotwire cars and since he was small enough to fit into the required spaces without hurting himself... Well he was useful, however Roy definitely intended to pick his brains for where exactly he'd gotten _that_ particular skill.

"Motherfucking cocksucking dumbass screwball" Sean muttered irritably.

Roy glanced back and noticed to his alarm Ed was staring at Sean with something like admiration. That was all he needed Ed's language was bad enough without learning new and creative ways to link obscenities. He had known a guy in Special Ops, everyone had called him The Preacher something of an ironic nickname since the guy had sworn just about every other word... he had nothing on this kid.

"Hey Sewer Mouth!" Roy whispered as loudly as he could manage, "will you keep it down I don't want to get eaten as odd as that may sound!"

"Yessir oh fearless asshole!" Sean whispered back, "or is it fearless leader? I can never remember."

"Shut up both of you," Ed said softly rather stunned by hs position as the voice of reason, "can we just focus on getting the fuck out of here? We can trade creative insults later" there that sounded like something Hawkeye might say and both of them seemed to respect her.

Slightly to Ed's surprise both Sean and Roy listened after throwing him dirty looks, but considering he was no longer wondering how soon something was going to jump out of nowhere and tear them apart that was a small price to pay. Finally they came upon an SUV that looked like it might fit all of them.

"Looks good," Roy said inspecting it carefully, "Okay Sewer Mouth work your magic." Sean stared blankly, Roy sighed and then ammended, "Hotwire the damn thing."

Sean nodded, "Alright but check the gas we might need to siphon from other cars and I'd rather not do that with the engine running."

Roy walked over and flipped open the tank before noticing that Ed had casually followed him, "Whatever your going to say keep your gun up and your eyes out."

Ed rolled his eyes, "No need to tell me that Bastard... Sean's a little bit... strange, have you noticed?"

Roy nodded thoughtfully, "Hard not to, I'm not sure but I think he might have a problem of some kind... I mean not like he's crazy or anything but... I don't know some of the ways he acts just go beyond being different, c'mon amazingly we have a full tank at least something has gone right."

Roy got into the passenger seat and looked over to the driver's side where the subject of their conversation was lying on the floor with a pair of wires in his hands. "Well?"

"Full tank Sewer Mouth."

Sean smiled slightly looking absurdly pleased with his new nickname, "Alright Fearless Asshole is there anything we need before we go? Because once I touch these wires together we're gonna have to haul ass to get out of here."

Roy shook his head. "Alright let's ditch this dump!" Ed enthused.

Fifteen harrowing minutes and many near misses later they were on the hill yelling at the rest of their motley crew to get in the car.

"Get in now!!" Ed yelled "We've got a pack of mutant wolves chasing us and they want a bite of our asses."

"Yeah" Roy said glaring at their diminutive driver, "I don't think they liked it when you smashed their leader."

Sean waved him off as he plugged an MP3 into the cigarette lighter "Ah fuck 'em it'll be worth it for some decent music."

Roy perked up at that, "Whaddaya got? Alice in Chains? Pearl Jam? Nickelback?"

Sean stared at him with a look of combined pity and nausea, "Please Fearless Asshole I would've expected better taste from you... or maybe not, prepare to be introduced to the good stuff motherfucker" he finished with a predatory grin.

The music started with a pretty hot guitar riff and Roy's first thought was this isn't too bad... That was before Sean hit 120 mph singing and screaming along with Dark Tranquility the whole way.

* * *

I like Sean he just does the damndest things by the way Dark Tranquility was a Melodic Death Metal band and arguably the creator of the Gothenburg style


End file.
